Institute for the Study of Peak States
"Methods for Fundamental Change in the Human Psyche"
Support Newsletter #10, February 10, 2007
"Working Through Resistance to Approaching Traumas"
From the Editor Paula Courteau...
Certification News - A Letter from Nemi Nath
More News About Certification
News from the Research Team
A New Addition to the ISPS Ethical Guidelines
Working Through Resistance to Approaching Trauma
Special problems with sexual abuse issues
Other techniques for overcoming resistance
In praise of the session note-taker
Case Study - A session with Grant McFetridge
From the Editor Paula Courteau...
As Tal likes to say: I'm baaaaack!
Yes, it has been a long time. Last time I wrote, it was still 2006! I've got lots of excuses but will refrain from boring you with them. Good thing I'm not on a regular deadline, I'd get fired!
I've been poking through the archives of the WHH email list, looking for case studies to post on the website. The idea is to build a bank of examples, accessible through the same search engine that covers our newsletters, so one can use the site to trouble-shoot problems. The EFT website is organized that way, and has become a superb encyclopedia of healing strategies, one that I often use. The trip through the WHH archives, although they only cover the last six years, is a fascinating voyage through our short history. Amazing how much progress was made in such a short time!
Some things remain constant, however. The basic skill of a therapist, good communication, patience, compassion - the necessity for those has not changed. Also, although we've discovered many new tricks and have a much better understanding of how healing works, the elements of WHH have not changed either.
The (rather long) core of this (rather long) newsletter is one of the gems I found. It's a rare occurrence anymore to see Grant McFetridge lead someone through a basic WHH session - he's too busy training advanced healers now - and, to boot, having the whole session recorded in such a detailed way. As I read through the document, I realized that it's a catalogue of techniques one can use to coax a client past strong resistance, seen in the context of a session. There is so much in that transcript, I kept wanting to point out details of how this and that problem is addressed... So I did. Added annotations right through, and presented you with a fly-on-the-wall view of therapy applied by the one who invented WHH, with a running commentary.
Meanwhile, the first batch of a dozen or so case studies is already on the website (www.peakstates.com/cases.html) - including a version of the one you'll see today. The site is having a growth spurt, with new material being added every few days. It's worth checking from time to time.
Until next time...
Email teleclass at peakstates.com to sign up for teleclasses.
For a complete list of upcoming workshops, please go to the peakstates website at www.peakstates.com/upcoming.html.
Basic Whole-Hearted Healing with Addiction Specialization Professional Training (course # 110 & 190) Training for drug and alcohol therapists in our cure for alcohol craving and other addictions.
March 5-11 in Pittsfield, Massachusetts. Taught by Matt Fox. Contact Matt at 352-686-0982.
Braddock Body Process Training for Professionals Working with Sexual Trauma: Specific Tools for Self Care, February 9-10, 2007. Ojai, California. 805-640-3744. http://www.braddockbodyprocess.com/. This is specifically for therapists who intend to either work in this field, or to meet the certification requirements of the Institute. We highly recommend this training. This is very short notice, but we will keep you informed of her future workshops.
1-Day Intro to Whole-Hearted Healing and Peak States of Consciousness
February 27-28, Taught by Nemi Nath. Newbold House, Forres, Scotland. For details, contact them via their webpage, www.newboldhouse.org/bookingform.html, or phone 0044 (0) 1309 672 512.
Certification News - A Letter From Nemi Nath
How are your certification requirements shaping up? There is great progress from the German group. They found a suitably-trained person who put together a weekend on suicide and mental health and spiritual emergency. So we now have a permanent set-up for this certification requirement, at least in Germany. If you feel inspired to organize the same in your country, why not contact Gerda Dassing, who organized this (gerda at atemraumzentrum.de). Gerda only speaks a little English, but can find people to translate your email for her.
It would be nice to have a progress report from you occasionally and/or some communication if you want to organize your certification test. There are a few ways of doing this: 1) by assisting in a Basic training and 2) by organizing either a private or a group day to do the practical tests. Some time ago, I sent out a form to everyone to keep track of where you are at with your certification. Did you get it?
The process of getting certified is really grounding and supporting. If you assist at a Basic training, it is like getting the whole training a second time, and you hear all the things you missed the first time, and you get really clear where your gaps are and can polish them up. All makes more sense (according to Samsara who did it). The dates of upcoming trainings are on the website. (www.peakstates.com/upcoming.html)
The preferred sequence of events for certification is first your conventional additional trainings and then your practical tests.
A call to all German/English speakers on the list: The German website is up and running... in English (ha ha) and needs translating. This would greatly help to set up Peak States work in Germany. Please let me know if you are willing to volunteer time to do this. It can be done in small sections, bit by bit. So it is not such a daunting job. Let me know at nemi at peakstates.com.
When Robin Lawley attempted to organize a Basic Training in Italy, he encountered the familiar problem of trying to convince people to attend a course that he was interested in, but had not taken himself. We did not get enough people together and decided to do a one-day promotional event instead. This was a great success, even though only a small group of 10 attended. They were all highly qualified therapists. I spent 5 hours (with translation) outlining the work of the Institute, the new paradigm of healing and peak states and the courses and trainings. Then we had a small experience of a WHH session (It was very funny, because everyone had a different type of trauma and could only do the process with some assistance from me: vortices, holes, soul loss, copies and soul pieces) So, with the sharing, that made a rich overview of what WHH is. We also had a 1/2 experience of "Join forces in Glory," the idea being to get an experience what a peak state process is rather then attempting to get a peak state. The group is very enthusiastic and wants to organize a training in due course.
My schedule permitting, I am open to doing talks like this in other countries. Please spread the word if you would like the work to grow.
More News About Certification
People can now get in liability insurance for WHH in Australia, Switzerland, Germany and the U.S. Details are with the course descriptions on the website at www.peakstates.com/coursePSL1cert.html. On the same web page you will also find course listings for suicide intervention and mental illness for Australia, Germany and the U.S.
News from the Research Team
The main focus for the past two months has been the development of our specializations..
Matt Fox, who has been working in addiction therapy for many years, is now ready to teach other therapists how to integrate ISPS techniques into addiction therapy. This necessitated a new classroom manual, a collaboration between Matt and Grant. Matt will be doing a training in Pittsfield, Massachusetts March 5-11 (WHH plus Addictions Specialization in one go).
The same process is now happening, albeit more slowly, with the schizophrenia project. The process is undergoing more testing with severe cases to see if we need to add any more steps for other problems, and to get clinical experience on dealing with the medication rampdown. We have a couple of therapists with previous experience interested in this topic - a vital step in taking this process to the world. We plan on having the first manual for the schizophrenia specialization ready this spring. You can read a couple of recent testimonials on the web at www.peakstates.com/sptestimonials.html.
The next newsletter should cover the improved Inner Peace process. Thanks to the wonderful folks who have participated in the beta testing over the last few months. We're still doing follow-ups and making sure that everyone can get into the State using this new approach - we want a process that works on everyone.
We've also started testing the new "Rapid" Whole-Hearted Healing™ (rWHH) technique in our Basic Peak States classes (course #120). This extremely clever variation on WHH was invented by Tal last summer, and is a radical improvement over the basic WHH technique that you've all learned. It is far faster, much less painful because it doesn't require the in-body state, and always gets to the core, originating trauma. We'll keep you informed as testing continues.
One of the more unbelievable, albeit fascinating aspects of ISPS work, is our training in techniques that can heal people 'at a distance'. We're not alone in working with this culturally-rejected phenomenon - in the EFT energy therapy, applications of this phenomenon are called 'surrogate EFT healing'. Our advanced Whole-Hearted Healing™ (aWHH - course #220) was the first technique we developed to do this. It was originally developed for healing seriously mentally ill people who couldn't help themselves. Later came the Primary Cell Technique™ (PCT, course #210).
In the last year, as we've gained more experience teaching students who are not part of the research team, we've realized that there are safety issues that can occur with distant healing processes that are often overlooked by our students. Thus, we've decided to add another ethical guideline to our list (http://www.peakstates.com/ethics.html) to address this problem:
Only Use Techniques While in Communication with the Client, and with their Consent
"I agree to only use techniques that work on clients at a distance (surrogate EFT, aWHH, PCT, etc.) with the client's or guardian's informed consent and only when I am actually able to communicate with the client."
This is both an ethical and a safety issue. Client participation is necessary for client safety. First, you might not know if something goes wrong unless you have verbal feedback - the client needs to be able to let you know if something doesn't feel right, and to be able to describe symptoms so you can help them or get help for them. Secondly, the techniques may cause major physical or emotional symptoms to suddenly and unexpectedly occur in the client. He or she might be accidentally harmed if they are involved in activities that require undisturbed attention, such as driving or using dangerous tools (saw, knife, etc). Third, because the client would have no idea why a symptom just suddenly appeared, it might cause them needless anxiety and worry, or cause them to seek unnecessary emergency or long term medical interventions.
(Note that we're not including DPR in this guideline at this time because we've never seen adverse effects in clients.)
A large part of the art of healing with most power therapies is to coax and guide the client through his fears about healing. This is especially true with WHH because the client has to be in his body in order to heal, and the normal reaction in the face of trauma, the reaction he's always had, is to dissociate, reframe, digress, space out, or otherwise run away.
First of all, one must have excellent communication skills. There is no way we can find the time to teach this in workshops, but one stellar resource is the book Traumatic Incident Reduction by Chrys Harris and Gerald French. TIR is also a regression therapy, so the detailed discussion on communication in chapters 3 and 4 applies perfectly to our work. I actually would recommend that therapists in training read through those chapters several times. Topics include such things as establishing a safe place, being interested vs. being interesting (in other words being mostly unnoticeable and letting the client work), and handling the unexpected - the stuff out of left field that has the potential of derailing a session.
Working with each other as students is another opportunity to learn more about being a therapist. When you are the guide, notice what helps keep the session on track and what hinders it, what truly serves the client and what is really self-serving. When you're in the role of the client, notice your reactions to your partner's instructions: what kind of communication is comforting and keeps you focused? What makes you cringe?
Healing clients with issues of sexual abuse isn't for the faint of heart. We strongly recommend that only therapists with previous experience attempt this with WHH. (See the recommended training with Caroline Braddock in the 'Upcoming Workshops' section (www.peakstates.com/upcoming.html.) As with addiction therapy, it's best if the client has access to the resources offered by mainstream therapy: medical supervision if appropriate, a support network in the event that more traumatic memories surface, and suicide-prevention resources.
Typically, the client will slog through the first session with dramatic results, become calm, peaceful and light, maybe acquire a new peak state... only to go into crisis mode a few days or weeks later, as more memories arise. (This student ran the same trauma from the sperm's point of view in a later session, then had to do another session to access leftover aspects of her original trigger.)
The therapist also needs to work diligently on any related issues arising in him- or herself. I've seen myself cord heavily with a client in one of those sessions: I wanted to save her the discomfort of those memories of abuse, so my little Buddha brain, ever helpful, made enough cords to effectively stall the session. Embarrassing. So use DPR and projection healing as needed, during and between sessions.
In this example, although the presenting complaint was indirect - "fear of being attractive" - we see a fairly typical pattern. The feelings are so intense and the habit of avoiding them is so ingrained that one must face increasing resistance as one approaches the core of the issue.
The originating problem for sexual abuse often is the feeling of being 'raped' by the womb wall at birth, or, as in this example, a problem in conception. Note that the 'party feeling wronged' could just as easily be the sperm as the egg. The sperm feels engulfed by something overwhelmingly large; the egg feels attacked by something aggressive. Or variations thereof.
There are a few more tricks for overcoming resistance besides the ones shown in this example. One is using just the 'psychological reversal step' from EFT: the client rubs the 'sore spot' and says something like "even though I'm really scared to approach this trauma, I completely love and accept myself" or "even though I can't stand the idea of being in my body, I completely love and accept myself..." You get the idea. Interestingly, this works even on people who have had no success with EFT.
Other techniques involve the use of breath. Several of you have great expertise on that subject. Adapt whatever methods have worked in the past to the structure of WHH. (And I'd love to learn more from you.) For the rest of you, the two patterns I've learned are a slight hyperventilation to overcome resistance in a general way; and either holding breath, or - safer - pinching the nose while breathing through the mouth. This pattern triggers the panic of any trauma having to do with hypoxia, bringing the memory to the surface. Of course, it's only appropriate when the client goes blank. In the example below it would have accomplished nothing... the problem already being overwhelming panic.
It is quite common for the client to spontaneously hyperventilate on the approach of a severe trauma. As you will see, we always make sure the client know that this is okay.
In her introduction to the original email, the student we call 'D' in this example wrote this in praise of the recorder:
"She very carefully left out any potentially embarrassing details; which I
would like to point out so that if you feel any reservations about sending
in your personal experiences, you can do the same. By making reference,
for instance, to an incident at age 10 without giving details of the
experience, you can still give a detailed explanation of your process and
still allow others to benefit from your experiences."
Indeed. The 'story,' although it is the client's focus and obsession, is in fact peripheral for our purposes. What's important and useful to us is how the traumas threaded together, where difficulties arose and what we did to overcome them; how the core trauma echoed the trigger; and - our only 'story' of concern, since we're exploring new ground - what happened pre-birth and how it changed as the trauma resolved.
Whole Hearted Healing session facilitated by Grant (identified as G. in the transcript). Student is identified as D.
[Paula's comments (2007) in italics and square brackets.]
Issue: Fear of being attractive. Severity: 10 out of 10.
Grant: Go back into a memory, and put your hand on your chest. The memory may not be about being attractive. D finds a memory in adulthood, feels she can't love herself, starts to feel suffocated right away.
G: Remember to love yourself FOR not being able to breathe, and love yourself FOR not loving yourself in that moment... Stay in body.
[The loving-yourself technique is still the very best way to overcome resistance. We can love ourselves for the trauma in the past, AND also for the objections to feeling the trauma in the present. As therapists, we stay aware of both components.]
Okay to love yourself FOR being irrational - on some level it IS rational.
D: I'm going somewhere else, do you want to go there?
G: Give me a phrase; where are you?
D: Age 24 [earlier than prior memory].
Describes a circumstance of being in a beauty contest and being asked out by one of the judges.
G: Okay, so be there, love yourself for exactly how you were and what you did.
D tries to go later into that same event, the date with the judge.
G: Come back to present and feel the feeling, then go back and find which memory (the beauty contest, or the subsequent date rape) matches the present-day fear.
[Here D tries to avoid the worst part by skipping ahead. Grant refocuses her by referring her back to the original trigger. Later he'll get the same result by asking her to go to the very worst moment.]
G: What was the original issue - fear of being attractive. Okay, make sure we stay with EXACTLY that fear sensation.
G: Now love yourself for not breathing and trying to get away.
(While D is breathing, G is explaining to her: Love yourself because part of your body's or psyche's job is to keep yourself alive, so love part of you that made connection and acted to keep you alive.)
D is uncomfortable and tries to go forward or past, or to ramble talking, or to change the story-line of the memory.
G: Don't change the past or do something different, just freeze-frame there, stay in that moment in that memory that was most frightening.
[Freeze-framing in the worst moment: a very simple instruction, and extremely effective.]
D finishes that memory and comes to CPL with the beauty contest experience. Grant tells D to feel for a thread pulling her earlier into another memory. D finds a memory of being in a 7-11 when some bare-chested construction guys come into the store; she feels trapped, and leaves very fast. D stays with memory, some light but obvious distress, Grant occasionally tells her to 'stay in body, and don't change the memory.' Finally achieves CPL.
[Many 'talk therapies' use reframing, so clients very often will try it. Again focusing on just one moment, and accepting the moment as it is, is key to releasing the trauma.]
G: Great, now as you sit there, allow yourself to be pulled by a thread to an earlier memory; you said it brought up something even earlier.
D talks about an earlier lifetime, with a Viking memory.
G: I'm going to ask you to let that one go. Stay in the 7-11, just feel a thread pulling you to an earlier time... Go with the feeling, not with the story, just the body sensation... Just let an image come - may make no sense, just love yourself for being as you are - stay in body.
[Grant had her skip this memory because past-life episodes are almost always red herrings; they are one of the ways we avoid present-life traumas that are too threatening. For a therapist running a session, they are an indicator that the client feels very distressed. Note how Grant takes this into consideration and gives the student very simple instructions.]
(10-minute wait.) D finds memory of handsome man in church whom she avoids sitting near.
G: Okay, is this earlier than the 7-11? (D unsure)
G: Okay, we'll run with it. Stay in body and love yourself.
D telling story, getting involved in rationalization and reframing.
G: That's okay, we don't want you to change anything, we want you just to accept the essence of love.
D talks some more (rationalization).
G: Okay, stay with it, stay in body.
D associates fear of being attractive to fear of attractive men
G: Yes, this work often involves layers. Stay with it, in body.
D: I'm drifting.
G: That's okay, back to the church.
D: My heart's pounding. He would never want me.
[Note how the student now speaks in terms of body sensations and emotions, and uses the present tense. This is a sign that she's now in body. Her body language would also be an indication.]
G: That's okay, stay there.
G: Perfect, we're on the right track; stay with it.
D: I feel peace.
G: Good, let's do the 3-minute rule. Stay there.
D: I can even hug him now...
G: I think I'm gonna throw away your training wheels! Stay there a bit longer... (Waits)
G: Okay, something earlier? (D nods yes) Give me a sentence or two. Is it earlier or later?
G: Okay, great, let's run with it. You've gotten good at loving yourself and accepting, let's do it again.
(SIDE NOTE FROM SESSION NOTE-TAKER: Questioned Grant - he's not asking for 'trauma phrases,' why? Grant: Because it's working, so the phrase is obviously flashing through her conscious mind and the traumas are releasing. Asking specifically for the phrase is one way to keep things moving. BUT we know there's an earlier memory; we'll get there and may have to dig a bit for that one.)
D says this memory is also 24 years old, at work cocktail party with conspicuous dress. Grant says run it, just go to that moment and love self.
D: This one hurts, more imminent danger, I'm exposed.
G: Um-hmm, keep loving yourself, stay in body.
D: My leg hurts again.
G: Did it hurt then, at the party?
G: Just stay at the party, and tell me if the pain changes.
[So here we have pain coming out of nowhere. Is it from the present, and therefore a distraction, or is it part of the past trauma? Sometimes, as here, all one has to do is ask. If the client doesn't know, have her change posture in the present; if the pain persists or immediately returns, it may well be part of the trauma.]
D flips to earlier memory at age 13 with cousin who felt
G: Okay, run it. Remember to keep your hand on your chest.
Before finishing, D shifts again to 11 year old, with guy on motorcycle following her as she walks. D in obvious distress, twists body.
[Note that D now is flipping earlier and earlier without reaching CPL on the later memories. This is perfectly fine, especially since there were no physical injuries. In easier sessions, the client will go more directly to the core trauma. Resolving the core takes care of the whole stack.]
G: Love yourself for feeling that way. I know you want to get away, but stay in body.
Finally reaches CPL in that memory.
G: Keep loving yourself and see if anything else comes up.
D: I'm scared to go earlier.
G: That's part of it. There is a little girl who needs to be rescued, and only you can rescue her. We're changing the past just by staying there.
[Here Grant normalizes the increasing fear. He also reminds the client that the trauma is in the past, and enlists her generosity and courage.]
Earlier memory comes up - 10 years old, boy in 4th grade, same fear as original issue.
G: Perfect. Got an image? (D nods) Go in body and love yourself
D: I'm breaking out in a sweat when he comes around. (She talks, obviously is moving around in the memory like a motion picture)
G: Great; just stay with that image that you first saw.
[A lovely, non-judgmental way to bring the student back from rambling to freeze-framing into one moment.]
Finish, to CPL.
D: I don't know what comes next.
G: Okay, just love self and see what pops in - may be totally unexpected.
D: I'm scared of what's next.
G: Okay, just remember, there's a young girl who needs help. And you can love yourself for feeling scared right now, too.
D: That feeling scared, heart palpitations, I felt that all the time with my father.
G: Okay, stay with that boy at 10 (from last memory) and just love yourself - let it come up --- thread pulling you back --- may have nothing to do with your dad...
D hits 10 months old, father holding her.
[Is the 'father' memory another red herring, going to a side issue, or is it relevant? Grant must have had a funny feeling about it, because he has D circle back and centre again into the emotions and body sensations of the previous incident. If the 'father' issue really is relevant it will show up again.]
G: Did this memory just pop up or are you searching?
D: How do I know?
G: Did you stay with the 10-year-old girl and it popped up, or did you go looking?
D: I don't know, I'll look again.
G: Keep loving yourself, both there and here.
D: It won't come, what do I do?
G: Well, you can wait it out, because part of you is loving yourself and feeling safe enough to let it come.
D getting frustrated - "I don't know"
G: But you can feel it (the fear), right? I'm gonna play a little trick with you - go back in time - back - feel the 'can't breathe' and heart palpitations - just following a thread back from that 10-year-ol - as you get closer you may find the symptoms get worse - keep going back - [Wait 5 minutes]
G: Put your hands in prayer and ask God to take you to that moment... [Waits again]
[As you see, not everything works. So here Grant changes tacks and is enlisting D's religious background, using terms she's familiar with to help her induce a more creative and less fearful state of consciousness in herself.]
G: Trick sometimes is to go up and up to the Creator -- a sea of light - then ask; you have to will that you want to go back to the trauma and you have to really mean it - you can't say "I want to but not really..." It's not like a sea, more like a limitless plane of light --- say "I want to heal this – I want to see..."
D does, Grant waits about 1 minute.
G: Okay, that should be enough, just love yourself now, go back to that 10-year-old girl and love yourself, see what comes.
[Now check the results!]
D: Okay, this is a weird one (much louder voice)... first day of school, left on bus, don't know where I am... it's end of bus line and driver made me get off...
G: Okay, just love self and that young girl for being very afraid, she's little and doesn't know what the future holds.
D continues to talk, tell story; Grant lets her.
[Why does he let her, by the way? Simply because a first scan of the story might allow D to zero in on the worst part of it. Once the client starts reframing, however, the session must be brought - respectfully - back on track.]
G: Okay, go back to the bus where you were first afraid (waits) Be in body, help that young girl, help her feel that terror...
D finishes, CPL.
G: Stay, love yourself, search for a thread.
D frustrated, angry that it won't come. Grant tells story of a shaman, running from demons, ripped and torn from the back; shaman is told to turn and face the demons, finally does and found they have no power when you turn to face them.
G: See, if you just allow the fear to flow, there may not be any fear left. May just be anxiousness, like poking at a tooth. Let's go for the tooth. Let's invite in what's under the anxiousness.
D: I'm afraid Daddy's gonna kill me
G: Can you feel that fear? Love yourself. Got an image?
D visibly upset
G: Keep loving yourself, you're facing your demons, let the fear come in, or whatever it is.
D: His rage is so strong - when I'm around him I feel panic and shortness of breath
G: Then feel that feeling, at the same time see if you can love him
D: I tried so hard!
G: Yes, you did try so hard in the past... try something new now: just love him the same way you do the loving-yourself technique.
G: What you're trying to do is evoke the memory of where it started, and there's a real good chance it's not about your dad.
G: Let's try to make the fear worse... As fear worsens, you may find there's an image you're pushing away, as fear comes up, you may find the image comes up.
(NOTE-TAKER'S NOTE: Either heighten a memory or just let the feeling get worse and worse, then notice that an image is coming up, and your fear gets bigger)
[This is the 'magnifying' technique also used by Gay Hendricks in body-centered therapy. Make the fear bigger instead of trying to make it better. Works like a charm.]
D finds crib memory
G: Is that a new memory or one we've already seen?
D: Haven't had this one
G: Great, let's run it...
[So were back to the father issue, but it's an earlier memory and this time we got there through emotions, not through logic; so we know for sure that we're not going on a tangent. The student's distress further confirms that we're in the area she was afraid to confront.]
D is in obvious distress
G: You'll survive, we're here, you're doing great. Stay in body
G: Perfect, stay in body --- you're doing great --- stay in body -
D: He's thinking about killing me
G: You're probably absolutely correct - stay in body
D: It has passed. He's not thinking about it anymore.
[Often, we have to run through a trauma more than once to fully solve it. It's obvious that D is not yet CPL: either she's skipped forward, or the event needs another pass.]
G: Go back to that moment of the worst fear --- you feel what he's thinking --- freeze frame there - stay in body
D: Men want to hurt me...
[Here it is, a core belief. Things start to shift now.]
D says she's CPL
G: Stay with this one a little longer to see if the baby gets large
D: Yes, like I'm filling top to bottom of crib
G: You're so close to birth you're starting to feel what a healed person feels like...
G: Okay, got another image?
D: Go for another??!
[Yes, why not stop there? Besides the fact, as you'll soon see, that the distress is not at zero, we haven't yet seen the physical injury that anchors the pattern. So we have to go yet earlier]
G: Stick with it, stay in the moment in crib with Dad there --- that moment
D: I guess I didn't get to zero...
G: Then stay there, let's stay and eliminate it --- the moment you can feel his thought about killing you.
D: Something's coming at me --- can't get away --- just like when he came at me --- why am I scared?
[Now D is in a prenatal trauma. Her puzzlement is a good indication. She's on completely unfamiliar ground. So Father was just a bit-player after all... It was "something" that feels "just like when he came at me." And all the elements of her original trigger are here: she feels exposed, trapped and scared.]
G: Stay with it --- excellent - stay in body, we'll find out
D: It's aggressive, gonna hurt me
G: Do you have an image? Where are you?
D: It's here at my face - I'm not a body - but I'm ME!
G: I understand. (aside, says "egg or sperm or other")
D: I can't get away - just be here and feel it?
D: It's gonna kill me...
G: Stay with that feeling, in body
D: But it's gonna kill me!
G: I understand, stay in your body
D very heavy breathing, hand on chest, wait 5-10 minutes
D: Am I dead? Am I dead?
G: Stay with it - let the breath come as fast as it
D: I'm not dead. I'M NOT DEAD! It came inside me but I'm not dead.
G: Good, stay with the feeling
D: And I don't hurt and it doesn't hurt
D: And I feel calm
D: And peace --- and light --- doesn't seem like this thing that came inside me is there, it's just me---
G: Great. Can you run that sequence again, stay in body?
D: Okay, it's coming really fast...
G: Great, now slow-motion, staying in body... see it coming and slow it down ... breathe ...a nd heal as you go...
D: When it hit me, it hit me really hard
G: Where'd it hit?
D points to stomach
G: Great, need to feel that pain, when it hit you
[This is the physical injury that anchors the whole stack. It's very important to feel it in a detailed way until it resolves completely. Notice how careful Grant will be about that.]
D: I just feel at one, at peace, everything is fine
G: Yeah, do you feel large yet?
D shakes head no
G: Stay with it, there's some sort of pain or injury where it hit
D: Okay, now with every breath I expand, it's brighter, less dense...
G: Let it happen, doing great...
D: Like now, I don't have form, just way, way out
G: Good, stay with it
D: But I'm still ME--- this feels really good - this feels like love - weightlessness - I AM THE LIGHT! I AM THE LIGHT
D: Doesn't feel like a physical state
G: This is a physical state but one of health, and it obeys physical laws, too
G: Can you hear the music?
[This was at the time of the first research into developmental event music. D was one of the few who could hear it at times.]
D: (smiles) Yeah
G: What's it sound like?
D: Medium tempo, lilting, makes me happy
G: Can you remember music in real life that sounds kind of like it?
D: No, not made by musical instruments, just really happy... that sounds like the song of nature – the mother Earth --- not like MY soul song
D: Oh, what a wonderful place to be --- I've been here before --- I remember this place – I've been here.
D: There's a presence - body floating - I'm everywhere - gentle, effortless, easy, and it flows, it just flows! (D raises her arms up and out wide) --- I can be everywhere at once - all of it - and be anywhere I want - Am I going to meet all kinds of entities? Of course I am! I just don't experience them here like I do there... And I can visit anytime and explore---There are places I haven't been that look familiar - colors are diffused because of the ethers and light - colors not bright like some of places I go to - this very soft and diffused - different dimension - everywhere at once - and seems like I'm moving - and when I get there I am already there - don't you think that's weird? - Your awareness is moving, just placing awareness at different places but you're being in all places at once --- cool (D stays here about 10 minutes, talking)
[This is an important part of the session. The student has time and safety to explore her new state; any fear or resistance can be healed at this point.]
G: This is one step in the journey. We have some more work to stabilize this.
G: Go back to that memory of something coming toward you - when it's all beautiful again, whenever you're ready, just freeze-frame it.
D: Bright color
G: Yes, just savor it - lots of dimensions - lots happening - let it all come
D: Now that I'm not afraid it doesn't feel like aggressive, and doesn't feel like death... So am I having both experiences simultaneously - fearful and safe?
G: Do you feel fear now?
G: We're changing the past, there is a new "what happened."
D: This is not scary - it's a very fluid dance --- music is beautiful - It's an agreement! That this is to occur!
[Notice that this is not a reframing: it's the same conception event, but now it happens without trauma. It feels like a completely different reality from the initial scene of terrifying entrapment and invasion. Now Grant will make sure that there's no trauma remaining.]
G: Go back to the moment of hitting, the impact. Stay there, if there's even a twinge of discomfort, freeze-frame it, and go slowly forward...
D: No discomfort, and great ease
G: Have you noticed it's going in you --- are you aware that your awareness is both places - both in YOU and in the thing going in you?
[Notice also that Grant doesn't label the experience as conception, but keeps using whatever terms the student used to describe the event. But everything fits the conception scenario.]
D checks: Yes! Feels like making love, and what's coming into me is my beloved...
G: Go slowly here, there's a lot of stuff happening here
D: Oh, now there's sparkles of light - tastes like raspberries...
G: Does it feel like a royal union?
D: No, I don't like royalty.
[Interesting, isn't it? It's not that there is trauma, it's just that the metaphor of 'royal wedding' doesn't fit for this particular student, probably because of her cultural background.]
G: Check the original feeling - how you feel about fear of being attractive?
D: It's a long way back there - don't know - how do I find out?
G: Can you imagine being attractive now?
D: Yes, CPL, scale is 0
End of session
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Copyright 2007 by Grant McFetridge